I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
