Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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