You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
you are never too drunk for berry picking
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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