life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
