I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
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