Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize