you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
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