After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
