Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
