Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
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