He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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