Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
