yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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