Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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