dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
