I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
