And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
