I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
