i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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