If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
