you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
