it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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