So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
