Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
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