marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
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