Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Bring me that man meat
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Randomize
