Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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