worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
