Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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