There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
