U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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