3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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