Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
