I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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