let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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