she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
