Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Randomize
