i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
