Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
