We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
