yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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