I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Randomize
