How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
