I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
