I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
