That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
