I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
