Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
