When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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