yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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