Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
