Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
