They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
