apparently the secret to your success is patron
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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