Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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