i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
