Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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